paper flower

1278/2500 at 2:04am: Bazin became Brian.

I bet there's hearts all over the world tonight.

Had a good break today from all the studying(padahal study sikit! :P). Went out with my lil' bro to town, had a couple of sticks, sat at Starbucks and Macs and lotsa talking bout lotsa issues. I gotta say that it's been a long time since I go out one on one with my bro and it's a good refreshing change. They always say that family comes first and I couldn't agree more. I've always thought that bro's a bit hard to talk to but today proved everything wrong. He not only talked to me more but he opened up on certain stuff which I prolly wouldn't imagine myself discussing with him. Most importantly, he became a 'friend' and I really loved that. And really thanks bro for choosing for me that shirt. :)

On another note, my revision's not going to well. I'm tryna cramp lotsa stuff and my brain isn't exactly a good storage space. But I'll try. :) There are lotsa things to look forward to after exams. These are my extrinsic motivation. :) As for my intrinsic motivation, He knows. :)

Kau ilhamku

i will NOT LET MY WEEKEND BE POINTLESS AND PESSIMISTIC, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

and ZOMG MUSE ZOMFG (just when i thought i should give my bank a chance to grow)!!!!!!!!!!!

things are changing--
we all are.

(pause)

and when we look back
its too late we've trudged so far apart
there's this abyss in the centre
so deep
you look down
and all you see
is
nothingness.

(pause)

i am tired of plucking the right words from the skies
painting a dozen different pictures different shades everyday
because all i need right now
is consistency
and somewhere
for my tired mind to rest.

(pause)

i need to put a finger on what we have become.

taking a detour before starting on work...

there's one thing I like about looking chinese, and waking up early in the morning to be the only one in the resource room. you "see" and "hear" things.

these 2 malay uncles who were cleaning the resource room were complaining about *drum rolls*
SBS students (what a surprise! haha). let me do a translation of the conversation I eaves dropped with my disguised chinese face.

(the names of the uncles have been changed to avoid any confrontations or specificity to any real life characters)
A: (while cleaning up chairs) wahlau, taking care of children is even better
B: hmm how come?
A: see lah give chairs also dunno how to put back nicely and use properly
B: yeah and still want to sit on "NICE" chairs. Only thinking of their own comfort and being inconsiderate. Where are these big sofas supposed to be?
A: These ones not even supposed to be here lor [here I am feeling so guilty cos I'm sitting in one of these "sofa" chairs]supposed to be at lobby. But know how to use never mind. This one see la anyhow throw
B: Yeah. They act only want to sit comfy chairs for their butt [kind of a direct translation], pampered brats.
A: Later we say, they don't want to come
B: hmmm?
A: Later we comment, they don't want to come back don't want to study
B: Yeah, then don't want to study, their mom blame us. It's the cleaners' fault
A: Yeah [mimicking parent's reaction] "yeah you see waste money only give my child come to school, my child don't want to come to school to study anymore"

[A and B exits shaking their heads and continuing diligently with their daily morning routine]

Its possible that sometimes people are just cranky in the morning and when they have to repeat a certain given chore over and over again, and especially when there's no choice it's WORK. thus, they tend to nag nag nag...

BUT I really think we're MAJORLY to blame
how many of us leave chairs here and there, clumping the resource room
leave food on the table uncleared
drop food and didnt clean it up
did not clear the rubbish

I'm damn sure every single one of us are guilty one time or the other, no matter how big or small. The difference is, whether you pro-actively kept in mind to do the right thing and be considerate

lets face it we are really spoilt brats who take these "people" for granted
but what goes around comes around. so, here's a mental note I need to make for myself ***

7 years is an awfully long time to keep the same livejournal and finally,
i'm outta here.

to all my A level friends who couldnt do question 4. LET IT GOOOOOO.

"She's got you high and you don't even know yet
It's the search for the time before it leaves without you
Have you lost your mind or has she taken all of yours too?

She's got you high and you don't even know yet
The sun's in the sky, it makes for happy endings
You can't deny you want a happy ending"

Because maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me?

Things have been going great for me. Revision has started(finally!) And I'm happy. The smile's back. The confidence is peaking and all I gotta do now is stay focus and give it all I got. Not only for the two damn papers that I'm sitting for next week. Bleargh! I began to appreciate the simplest things in life. And laugh and smile at the randomest of stuff. I guessed what someone told me was right, I'm the classical guy. But yeah, done with trying too hard. Now, it's back to basics. And thankfully, things are just right. :)

There are many things that I would
Like to say to you
I don't know how

Weekends burned. Been a bad girl. 3 in 24. I am turning into one of them. Broken hearts. As long as it is not mine. Selfish. But nonchalance is key. That's bad news. Go feminism. Change is good. Change takes time. And change needs patience. But I am fucking impatient. Don't want to speak too soon. But I am happy.

andre bazin is resting on my bed. he sees me reading his incomparable words and thinks i am a cut above the average insomniac.

Why didn't/don't I like bio? I feel biology is far too random, dissimilar to the way physics always starts from first principles (a overarching main point that is immovable by virtue of the fact that it's just self-explanatory or because it has been determined to be so). From first principles, you can basically guess what's going on by deducing here and there. When you get lost or lose the plot, you can always go back to the main idea and work your way back.

Biology is of course not void of first principles, but there are far too many things going on for people to practically learn biology from first principles the way physics is learnt from first principles. It's tempting to just memorise chunks of stuff up (I did that in sec sch, it wasn't too fun) due to lack of time.

I do still really dislike biology, but I think I'm rediscovering that it may not be so bad after all. Just need to give it time >.< After all, bio at the most fundamental is probably chemistry... chemistry at the most fundamental is probably physics... (and math, below that, lol)

What's so bad about physics anyway? It's kinda fun, and all you have to do is remember relationships between things, then plug in numbers and interpret what's going on.

MUSE IS THE ULTIMATE STUDY BUDDY BABY WOOOO

Life can be unpredictable at times. There are just some things that can't be explained, perhaps only by HIM. But if I'm going through this and since I believe that HE is the one paving it for me, I guess it's okay. All and all, I feel happy and that bitter past seem like a distant memory. :)

Ain't gon' be the type to order you to sit
Loyalty and sincerity is all that I need
Got me questionin', how did it end up like this?
This heart gon' start pumping, the feelings I missed

you know what's worse than having to bump into a girl when you're out with a guy that she likes?


yes, meeting a GAY who is obviously jealous that you're out with a guy that he likes.


bitchy is an understatement. LOL

i was/ am right about you.
there's nothing else left to say.








with memories come the capacity to forget
with people come the capacity to disappoint.

this is my three large gin and tonics, on a sunday night. god i love! dancing! and banglesssss that tinkle like wind chimes heee.

And now that it has begun
We cannot turn back
We can only turn into one


I love their voices individually. Together, it's just Boomz. ((:

saw this on idaly's fb.



HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

there are some things which used to really bother me but it's going away now
could it be that I cannot be bothered by it anymore? haha sign of learned helplessness perhaps?
AND SO THE FOLLOWING IS A VERY ANGRY entry which i decided to entry cut

( Read more... )

on another note, it just hit me that exams are in 2.5 weeks time, but once exams start,
Turkey trip will be 1 month away. and on SQ weeeeeeee
something to look forward too, on top of the happy happy december holidays and
birthdays to celebrate, potential sentosa trips, meet-ups and scouting hotels and shopping :D

if exams are what it takes, then bring it on!